Creating Enough Trust to Mediate Your Divorce
People divorce when the trust is gone. Lack of trust leads to broken connection which leads to, “I don’t want to try any more.”
Though many people consider mediation a good option, they wonder, “How do I work with someone I don’t trust?”
Negotiating assets, creating parenting plans, and dividing property begin with discussion. People must work within what the other says. And, rely on it.
So how can people who don’t trust each other use mediation to create solutions?
Create a trustworthy process
Rule 1 of mediation: Don’t trust each other–trust the process. Trustworthy mediation offers:
- Mediators who create opportunity for couples to ask pertinent questions until all doubts are satisfied
- Mediators who probe each element of settlement to ensure parties are being honest
- Mediators who ask enough questions to ensure each party understands–legally and practically–what the other offers
Why does mediation cost more than couples just working through issues on their own? Because the mediator is creating a process that intentionally searches for misunderstanding or misinformation and resolves it. Before you sign an agreement.
Objectively verify information
Mediation doesn’t count on people being honest. All information must be documented.
Financial professionals verify tax implications. Human Resources departments verify the amounts of retirement plans. Tax forms track all streams of income. The mediator matches numbers in the mediation session to numbers on reports. When they match, couples can trust their choices.
Likewise, with other issues. If mother chooses a child care professional for her parenting time, father can ask for three references which he can check to ensure a good fit. If children live with father and he chooses to home school, mother can ask for tests and copy work to ensure children hit educational goals.
In short, couples can design the objective tests they desire to trust provisions of the agreement.
Invite expert input
During mediation, individuals are free to consult experts that verify or explain specific issues. Attorneys to understand legal options and implications. CPAs to understand tax choices. Counselors to understand how parenting plans affect children.
When couples have concerns, experts help fill the gaps.
Mediation doesn’t hinge on couples being able to trust each other. It can’t. Divorcing couples don’t.
But, divorcing couples can trust the process, objectively verify the information, and consult experts.
Once all questions are answered, couples trust the agreement.
If you are seeking divorce and would like a process that costs less, saves time, and protects children–The Resolution Center offers mediation. Mediation you can trust. Call 317-344-9740 or email at info@TheResolutionCenterIndy.com, so we can begin serving you.