Why should I try Conciliation when I can just go to court?
By: Tess Worrell
When Bill informed Karen he wanted a divorce—her world fell apart. And, questions swirled.
- What would happen to the kids?
- How would she be able to make it financially? Could she even get a job after being out of the workforce so long?
- What about taxes, bills, house maintenance—all those areas Bill always took care of?
Overwhelmed, Karen found an attorney. Grateful for his assurance he would take care of all the decisions, she focused on hanging on emotionally while caring for the children. When a friend recommended The Resolution Center, Karen was baffled. The friend explained that Karen and Bill would make the decisions. How could she “go it alone”—especially since she knew so little about the law, finances, or even how life should look?
Many clients see Conciliation as a great unknown. With so much of life in upheaval—the security of a well-established legal process offers the protection and predictability they crave. Or, so they think.
- The legal system—not that predictable. While many attorneys assure clients the attorney can get exactly what the client desires—with finances, with custody, and with property—the reality is often far from what the attorney promises. Despite the attorney’s sincere best effort, judges make the final call. Bound by prescribed guidelines and tables, the judge’s ability to tailor decisions to a family’s unique culture and priorities is severely limited. Often, clients who let attorneys and the judge decide their future end up with a future very different than they hoped. Very different than they can live with.
So, how does Conciliation help?
- Conciliation doesn’t mean “going it alone.” At The Resolution Center well-trained professionals support clients at every step. As a part of the Conciliation package—clients have access to:
–Conflict coach—to guide clients into healthy ways to share their anger, frustration, priorities on the issues to be addressed in the divorce process. Clients learn how to articulately express their own perspectives, consider the perspectives of others, and engage in a healthy discussion of how to pool the desires and needs of all into a comprehensive solution.
––Divorce financial planner—to analyze the couple’s finances and offer insights on how to best use all the property to secure the best financial picture for all.
–Child and family advocate—to inform parents on the developmental needs and requirements of the children and to speak the children’s perspective into the divorce process—ensuring agreements help recreate a healthy parenting relationship from separate houses.
––Mediator—to guide and educate parties’ discussions to resolve all the issues related to divorce and ensure all legal issues are thoroughly addressed.
All these services come as part of the comprehensive package for clients with one flat fee.
- Concliation allows those who must live with the decisions to make the decisions. Clients are the experts on their life. Though they may not know all the intricacies of financial planning or devising a parenting plan—they do know their own spending habits, financial goals, and vision for security. They do know the personalities of their children, the moments that mean the most in family culture, and each child’s worst fears. Parties are the experts on what makes their life work. Professionals will give clients technical information and education needed to process each decision, but parties retain control to craft a future that will work. Conciliation—not court—offers this.
- Conciliation protects the relationships. “We’ll first try to help you save your marriage. If we can’t or if you have already decided to divorce, we’ll save your family,” says Pat Brown, The Resolution Center. The Resolution Center’s process of working through the issues saturates parties with education and practice on working together. Parties normalize cooperation, regard for each other, and a vision for nurturing the relationship even as they build separate lives. Rather than dread the yearly return to battle in the court that so many divorced couples face, parties use their time (and money) to build a future.
Conciliation offers the security of putting you in control of crafting the future you desire all while being fully protected and supported by a range of professionals dedicated to your well-being. And, for much less money than a litigated process.