As I helped my child work through a complex math problem, I listed the steps she could follow to get the answer. 
“Why would I multiply here?” she quizzed.
Tired from the hour we’d already spent, I told her to just do it. In confusion she asked, “But, how can I be sure I should take this step if I don’t know how it works?”
Her question hit the mark. And not just for math homework.
If you’ve decided to divorce, you hear advice from all sides. Many promote mediation. How can you be sure to step into mediation if you don’t know how it works?
Mediation does work. Here’s why:
1. Control
Adversarial divorce–Do you really want someone else telling you when you can see your children? Which family traditions to preserve? Whether you get to keep Great-grandma’s hope chest? Traditional divorce looks like this:
Judge
Client–Attorney Attorney–Client
The decision-making power lies around the triangle. Attorneys advocate while the judge decides. Clients are consulted. But, you aren’t in a position to make decisions.
Mediated divorce–In mediation, the decision-making power looks different:
Attorney–Client Client–Attorney
Mediator
Clients–with the support, education, and guidance of the mediator–make the choices that shape the rest of their lives. You can consult attorneys for legal advice and counsel. But you, the ones most affected, remain in control of the decisions.
2. Cost
The average litigated divorce costs $30,000. The average mediated divorce costs between $2,500 and $7,000. When you choose mediation, you preserve more of your assets for your family’s future.
3. Cooperation
Divorce re-frames the most important relationship between two people. Very few enter the process saying, “My goal is to despise my spouse.”
Or, “I hope to conduct myself in such a way that my ex and I can never be in the same room again.”
Yet, all too often, the adversarial process pits spouses against each other. Ruining your future relationship with each other. And, your relationship with those closest to you.
When you married, you created relationships with children, extended family, and friends. Likely, you want to keep these going. You want to attend your child’s graduation. Without fear of fighting your ex.
You want to see the friends from the old neighborhood. Without embarrassment or awkwardness.
Likewise, your children, extended family, and friends want to continue including both of you in their lives. How can you preserve these vital relationships?
In mediation, you learn how to work together to make decisions. Sometimes–more effectively than ever before. Mediation provides the arena and the process for helping you cooperate in making financial decisions. Parenting decisions. Lifestyle decisions. Decisions in all the important areas of life that will continue long after divorce.
As you cooperatively build your future, you become allies–not adversaries. That opens the door for keeping all your other important relationships in place.
Control. Cost. Cooperation. Knowing why mediation works helps you confidently enter mediation. If you would like to learn more or would like to begin the process, The Resolution Center stands ready to assist you. Please call 317.344.4740 or email info@TheResolutionCenterIndy.com to get started.
